 Hello Friend's of Dharma. How do you HONOR AND OLD DOG? ANYONE WHO HAS LOVED A DOG FEELS THIS WAY. Time seems to move so slow, when life is AT THE EDGE. Like when a moment is precious because you realize that it is the last or one of the few last that you will have. We had thought that we would honor Merlin by giving him the best until it was time to MOVE ON. I mean like how long is it to the LAST MOMENT? We had not a clue. And so as emergencies arose, we problem solved solutions. We talked with Dr. Jill, ultra sounds, and medications and food changes and massage and well, you get the drill. We were open to anything AND WE MEAN ANYTHING the universe could offer us. We did not know that the offer would come on a Thursday night. We did not know the offer was the GIFT OF RELIEF. THIS IS HOW WE WERE GOING TO HONOR HIM. As if he himself were saying HEY MAMA AND HEY PAPA IT IS TIME! Over the previous four months we camped at KOA in Philly with Merlin walking their grounds by the pond every morning. We camped at the Hancock site at the White Mountains National Park in Lincoln New Hampshire listening to the Swift River flow behind us watching the fire burn at night. We camped at the Assateague National Park with the ponies where Merlin and the painted pony met up an our camp site. We met cousin Roy in Virginia who loved him, on sight. AND ON AND ON AND ON. Each adventure carved into our hearts, our memories of our Merlie Boy. Once we got into January, I lay many times on the floor with Merlin. Giving him every pat that he fully deserved. I stood in the middle of the night helping him get up off of the ground outside because he had to go. One more of a hundred times because his old muscles had lost tone and he could not longer lift himself once he tripped and fell down. It was funny though because though he could not lift himself up, once he was up he tottered along, like the old man that he was. He loved walking up and down our dirt road till the very end. His last walk with Bumble Bee was about a week before HIS TIME CAME. We put a belt of Papa's around his waist, secured with duct tape (ha, ha), to give him a quick lift whenever he needed. IT WAS VERY HELPFUL.  He lay next to the couch on the wood floor, which he could not get up from, until the very end. He did not like the rugs put down just for him so that he could get up on his own. It made him feel too hot. He tolerated our keeping him on the rug so that he could have some independent mobility. He allowed us to keep him covered with our bear rug giving us the eye like, "Mama, is this really necessary?" What a good sport. But on that Thursday after days and days of just not feeling good, not eating, and all those things happening that we could not control we moved toward an understanding, and embracing of the gift offered us. What can we do for him to prevent misery? We did not want "misery" for our "old Man" after a lifetime of love and joy that he brought into our lives. And so, in gratitude we called our Dr. Jill, and told her we thought it was time. And so Friday night, at the end of the day, we brought him to her. Our trusted one. In gratitude. That we had the option to say, "it is enough". And so here is our goodby for our Merlie Boy. 1/26/2006 - 2/1/2019  WE LOVE YOU MERLIN! Dharma Hugs Dharma Dharma & Company 
2 Comments
 HERE I AM SNUGGLED RIGHT NEXT TO MERLIN'S PLACE WHERE HE LAY NEXT TO THE COUCH. THIS IS WHAT I DID WHEN THE FOLKS CAME HOME WITHOUT HIM. Hello Friends! What is it like to have one leave your life? To walk through the door expecting happiness and joy and instead silence greets your smile? People say dogs do not have emotions like people do, but THIS IS NOT TRUE. I find myself STILL LAYING IN MERLIE'S SPOT. He is newly lost to me, only a few weeks past. I find that I SNUGGLE IN STONEWALL'S PLACE. Gone this past year and three quarters. But it feels like yesterday. IT FEELS LIKE YESTERDAY! I snuggled up tight to Papa's left hip while we sit together on the rocker as he watches his shows. THIS WAS ALWAYS STONEY'S PLACE. I find that I lay in Stoney's sunbeam as it moves across the hardwood floor as if Stoney himself is saying himself "Hey Dharma, how are you today?" I find it WARMS MY HEART. IT WARMS MY HEART! AND MY OLD BONES. 
When I go into the sun room I ALWAYS AND I MEAN ALWAYS CHECK OUT THEIR DOG DISHES. LAYING ON THE FLOOR, A REMEMBRANCE, A MEMORIAL AS IT WERE. ONE LARGE dog dish, and ONE SMALL. EACH WITH IT'S OWNERS DOG COLLAR CURLED UP. THE SMELL OF BROTHERS AND LEATHER, NESTLED.  AND I SMILE. I SMILE. FOR I ONLY REMEMBER THE GOOD TIMES NOW. RUNNING WITH STONEY WALL IN THE HORSE ARENA. MERLIN OLD MAN THAT HE WAS, WOBBLING DOWN THE ROAD CHASING ME. EVER HOPEFUL! EVER HOPEFUL! I MISS YOU GUYS. LOVE AND HUGS. DHARMA DHARMA   MERLIE BOY. Our old boy has passed. DIED. MOVED ON. It feels silent in the house. Empty, quiet in a way where you feel something is missing. ONLY GOOD TIMES AND FOND MEMORIES REMAIN. Merlie Boy was in his fourteenth year. WHAT IS THAT LIKE 100 OR SOMETHING IN DOG YEARS? So much of our lives included his grand presence. His ability to “be with” who ever would allow him to just sit and be with them. HE ENRICHED ALL OF OUR LIVES. Dr. Jill told us it could be four to six months. IT WAS JUST OVER FOUR. Merlin would spend so much of his last days just following us around the house. LAYING AT OUR FEET. PUTTING HIS HEAD IN OUR LAPS. THROWING A PAW OVER MY FOOT. He understood his MAGICAL PURPOSE IN THIS LIFE. Just to "BE WITH" those that he loved. He knew what the one most important thing was. At Dr. Jill's on his last night, he lay his paw across my foot. I AM HERE MAMA, I AM HERE. AND IT IS ALL OKAY. The whole of his life he looked up at us with eyes that SPARKLED. His life force was so rich, it was as if rivers of diamonds reflected in those eyes. And so we say OUR GOODBY S TO OUR MERLIE BOY. WE LOVE YOU MORE THAN THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE AND THE GALAXY BEYOND. GOOD JOURNEY. Mama, Papa, Dharma Dharma, Bumble Bee  |
AuthorChell Sommese is a retired teacher.
Archives
April 2019
Categories |
RSS Feed